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Vol. 19, No. 12, December 2003
1. Preventing and reducing social aggression among girls
2. High-School Hazing: What a Parent Can Do

Preventing and reducing social aggression among girls
Marion K. Underwood, Ph.D., University of Texas at Dallas
Girls can be extraordinarily mean. Although it is rare for girls to fight physically, girls more often harm one another by engaging in social or relational aggression. Social aggression consists of behaviors intended to harm friendships or social status, and includes social exclusion (both verbal and non-verbal), friendship manipulation, and malicious gossip. Although both girls and boys may engage in social aggression with similar frequencies, girls may be more hurt and worried by social aggression because it harms what they most value, their close relation-ships. Children who engage in social aggression are more likely to be rejected by peers, to report loneliness, depression, and anxiety, and may be at risk for symptoms of eating disorders and borderline personality as adults. Victims of social aggression, perhaps especially girls, report lower levels of self-concept in many domains and more depression and anxiety than non-victimized peers. Coupled with recent intense media attention focused on mean girls, these results have led parents, educators, and clinicians to call for programs to prevent and reduce social aggression. However, intervening to reduce these behaviors is challenging because they are subtle and often occur in settings to which adults lack access. In fact, girls believe that when adults intervene to reduce social aggression, it only makes matters worse. Most programs currently being implemented are not based on developmental models of social aggression and have not been empirically validated. Programs to reduce or prevent social aggression need not be invented out of whole cloth. Existing prevention programs targeted at physical aggression and bullying might be modified to address social aggression also. However, successful intervention programs for social aggression will need to include specific strategies for preventing or interrupting social aggression, which will require that researchers learn much more about the specific contexts in which it occurs, and the precise social processes by which it unfolds. Effective intervention Current research offers intriguing clues for effective intervention strategies. The following suggestions emerge from empirical research on the correlates and processes of social aggression, and offer valuable guidance for parents, teachers, and clinicians. The strategies are organized developmentally, beginning with those most relevant to younger children, and many of these may helpful for reducing social aggression among boys as well as girls. Because preschool children report that social aggression is less wrong and less likely to be punished than other forms of aggression, with young children it may be important for adults to communicate more explicitly that social aggression is unacceptable and hurtful. If children perceive that adults view social aggression as hurtful and wrong, they might be more willing to seek adult assistance when victimized, which in turn would increase teachers' capacity to intervene. For children in preschool and beyond, it may also be helpful to sensitize parents to the likelihood that children might learn these behaviors by observing particular types of marital conflicts. Girls' social aggression may be related to their being triangulated in the marital conflicts of divorced parents. Children may learn the power of social aggression by observing adults resolve conflicts in ways that harm relationships: giving one another the silent treatment, enlisting others to support their point on view in a conflict, threatening to terminate the relationship and withdrawing love and affection. With school-aged children, it may also be possible to reduce social aggression by helping children interpret social situations in more positive ways. Children prone to social aggression overattribute hostility in relationally provoking situations. One way to reduce social aggression might be to use techniques borrowed from cognitive therapy to help children make more positive attributions by entertaining alternative interpretations, and recognizing automatic, highly negative thinking. Assertiveness training If social aggression in middle childhood is related to girls struggling between feeling angry but wanting to be nice, one way to reduce social aggression might be assertiveness training. Girls could be taught to express their needs and goals more directly, and helped to accept that conflict may be a natural and even healthy part of close relationships. Girls report great distaste for peers who engage in social aggression, and this distaste could be harnessed to motivate girls to learn to resolve conflicts more directly. Parents, teachers and counselors could discuss more explicitly with girls how social aggression hurts, reflects badly on the perpetrator, undermines everyone's trust in the peer group, and may exact revenge in the short term but has the long term result of social rejection and reputational harm. Given that research and developmental theory suggest that girls may engage in social aggression as a way of affirming their own sense of be-longing, one way of preventing social aggression might be to offer multiple activities and settings in which more young people can feel accepted. Historically, girls may have had limited access to activities in their schools, and this may contribute to some girls believing that there is only one group and a person is either in or out. If girls could participate in a broader array of activities at earlier ages, such as drama, musical groups, service organizations and academic interest groups, there might be more diverse opportunities for more girls to belong within at least one group. Offering more activities for girls may serve other purposes related to preventing social aggression. In one study with focus groups of tenth grade girls in Australia, the number one reason cited for engaging in social aggression was to alleviate boredom. Time use studies show that girls in North America spend up to 2.5 hours per day in conversation with their peers, which could be a marvelous developmental opportunity but also a venue for high rates of social aggression. Spending increasing proportions of discretionary time in structured, voluntary activities may foster competence and may also reduce the boredom that might lead girls to manipulate relationships for sheer entertainment. Offering girls more opportunities to engage in activities may also serve the goal of helping girls to become more comfortable with appropriate competition, with pursuing competing goals without taking disagreements intensely personally. Peer intervention One of the most promising strategies for interrupting social aggression among girls may be to teach peers to intervene with one another to actively defend victims, perhaps by interrupting malicious gossip. Recent research on bullying has demonstrated that in addition to the roles of bully and victim, children also assume other roles in bullying situations: assistant, reinforcer, outsider and defender. Defenders are likely to be girls and children of high peer status. In intervention programs, some of these high status children who naturally assume the role of defender could be taught specific strategies for interrupting social aggression in situations in which they witness it occurring, often contexts in which adults are out of earshot. If peers are to be taught to intervene to halt social aggression, what exactly should they be encouraged to do? One practical suggestion comes from careful analyses of how young adolescents' gossip unfolds. Gossip sessions often begin with one person making a negative evaluation statement, with others typically joining in and reinforcing and even amplifying the first negative statement. However, if the immediate, initial response to the first negative comment is a challenge, then subsequent comments are likely to be more positive and less negative. Perhaps high-status girls who may be naturally prone to being defenders could be taught to challenge malicious gossip and perhaps social exclusion as well, to interrupt these behaviors as soon as they begin. Girls have tremendous interpersonal strengths that could be harnessed in designing programs to reduce or prevent social aggression. Girls expect more intimacy, loyalty, dependence in their relationships than do boys, thus it is not surprising that girls are typically more supportive of interventions to reduce peer harassment. Many girls have strong verbal skills and high social intelligence, which could facilitate their thinking through complex scenarios and learning sophisticated skills for intervening with peers. Successful programs for preventing and reducing social aggression will likely carefully and creatively capitalize on girls' verbal skills, social intelligence, empathy for victims, distaste for perpetrators, and some individuals' natural proclivities for peer intervention. Marion K. Underwood, Ph.D., is an Associate Professor of Psychology in the School of Behavior and Brain Sciences at the University of Texas at Dallas. Further discussion of intervention approaches is featured in her recent book, Social Aggression among Girls (2003), Guilford.

Preventing and reducing social aggression among girls

Marion K. Underwood, Ph.D., University of Texas at Dallas

Girls can be extraordinarily mean. Although it is rare for girls to fight physically, girls more often harm one another by engaging in social or relational aggression. Social aggression consists of behaviors intended to harm friendships or social status, and includes social exclusion (both verbal and non-verbal), friendship manipulation, and malicious gossip.

Although both girls and boys may engage in social aggression with similar frequencies, girls may be more hurt and worried by social aggression because it harms what they most value, their close relation-ships. Children who engage in social aggression are more likely to be rejected by peers, to report loneliness, depression, and anxiety, and may be at risk for symptoms of eating disorders and borderline personality as adults. Victims of social aggression, perhaps especially girls, report lower levels of self-concept in many domains and more depression and anxiety than non-victimized peers.

Coupled with recent intense media attention focused on mean girls, these results have led parents, educators, and clinicians to call for programs to prevent and reduce social aggression. However, intervening to reduce these behaviors is challenging because they are subtle and often occur in settings to which adults lack access. In fact, girls believe that when adults intervene to reduce social aggression, it only makes matters worse. Most programs currently being implemented are not based on developmental models of social aggression and have not been empirically validated.

Programs to reduce or prevent social aggression need not be invented out of whole cloth. Existing prevention programs targeted at physical aggression and bullying might be modified to address social aggression also. However, successful intervention programs for social aggression will need to include specific strategies for preventing or interrupting social aggression, which will require that researchers learn much more about the specific contexts in which it occurs, and the precise social processes by which it unfolds.

Effective intervention
Current research offers intriguing clues for effective intervention strategies. The following suggestions emerge from empirical research on the correlates and processes of social aggression, and offer valuable guidance for parents, teachers, and clinicians. The strategies are organized developmentally, beginning with those most relevant to younger children, and many of these may helpful for reducing social aggression among boys as well as girls.

Because preschool children report that social aggression is less wrong and less likely to be punished than other forms of aggression, with young children it may be important for adults to communicate more explicitly that social aggression is unacceptable and hurtful. If children perceive that adults view social aggression as hurtful and wrong, they might be more willing to seek adult assistance when victimized, which in turn would increase teachers' capacity to intervene.

For children in preschool and beyond, it may also be helpful to sensitize parents to the likelihood that children might learn these behaviors by observing particular types of marital conflicts. Girls' social aggression may be related to their being triangulated in the marital conflicts of divorced parents. Children may learn the power of social aggression by observing adults resolve conflicts in ways that harm relationships: giving one another the silent treatment, enlisting others to support their point on view in a conflict, threatening to terminate the relationship and withdrawing love and affection.

With school-aged children, it may also be possible to reduce social aggression by helping children interpret social situations in more positive ways. Children prone to social aggression overattribute hostility in relationally provoking situations. One way to reduce social aggression might be to use techniques borrowed from cognitive therapy to help children make more positive attributions by entertaining alternative interpretations, and recognizing automatic, highly negative thinking.

Assertiveness training
If social aggression in middle childhood is related to girls struggling between feeling angry but wanting to be nice, one way to reduce social aggression might be assertiveness training. Girls could be taught to express their needs and goals more directly, and helped to accept that conflict may be a natural and even healthy part of close relationships. Girls report great distaste for peers who engage in social aggression, and this distaste could be harnessed to motivate girls to learn to resolve conflicts more directly.

Parents, teachers and counselors could discuss more explicitly with girls how social aggression hurts, reflects badly on the perpetrator, undermines everyone's trust in the peer group, and may exact revenge in the short term but has the long term result of social rejection and reputational harm.

Given that research and developmental theory suggest that girls may engage in social aggression as a way of affirming their own sense of be-longing, one way of preventing social aggression might be to offer multiple activities and settings in which more young people can feel accepted. Historically, girls may have had limited access to activities in their schools, and this may contribute to some girls believing that there is only one group and a person is either in or out. If girls could participate in a broader array of activities at earlier ages, such as drama, musical groups, service organizations and academic interest groups, there might be more diverse opportunities for more girls to belong within at least one group.

Offering more activities for girls may serve other purposes related to preventing social aggression. In one study with focus groups of tenth grade girls in Australia, the number one reason cited for engaging in social aggression was to alleviate boredom. Time use studies show that girls in North America spend up to 2.5 hours per day in conversation with their peers, which could be a marvelous developmental opportunity but also a venue for high rates of social aggression.

Spending increasing proportions of discretionary time in structured, voluntary activities may foster competence and may also reduce the boredom that might lead girls to manipulate relationships for sheer entertainment. Offering girls more opportunities to engage in activities may also serve the goal of helping girls to become more comfortable with appropriate competition, with pursuing competing goals without taking disagreements intensely personally.

Peer intervention
One of the most promising strategies for interrupting social aggression among girls may be to teach peers to intervene with one another to actively defend victims, perhaps by interrupting malicious gossip. Recent research on bullying has demonstrated that in addition to the roles of bully and victim, children also assume other roles in bullying situations: assistant, reinforcer, outsider and defender.

Defenders are likely to be girls and children of high peer status. In intervention programs, some of these high status children who naturally assume the role of defender could be taught specific strategies for interrupting social aggression in situations in which they witness it occurring, often contexts in which adults are out of earshot.

If peers are to be taught to intervene to halt social aggression, what exactly should they be encouraged to do? One practical suggestion comes from careful analyses of how young adolescents' gossip unfolds. Gossip sessions often begin with one person making a negative evaluation statement, with others typically joining in and reinforcing and even amplifying the first negative statement. However, if the immediate, initial response to the first negative comment is a challenge, then subsequent comments are likely to be more positive and less negative. Perhaps high-status girls who may be naturally prone to being defenders could be taught to challenge malicious gossip and perhaps social exclusion as well, to interrupt these behaviors as soon as they begin.

Girls have tremendous interpersonal strengths that could be harnessed in designing programs to reduce or prevent social aggression. Girls expect more intimacy, loyalty, dependence in their relationships than do boys, thus it is not surprising that girls are typically more supportive of interventions to reduce peer harassment. Many girls have strong verbal skills and high social intelligence, which could facilitate their thinking through complex scenarios and learning sophisticated skills for intervening with peers.

Successful programs for preventing and reducing social aggression will likely carefully and creatively capitalize on girls' verbal skills, social intelligence, empathy for victims, distaste for perpetrators, and some individuals' natural proclivities for peer intervention.

Marion K. Underwood, Ph.D., is an Associate Professor of Psychology in the School of Behavior and Brain Sciences at the University of Texas at Dallas. Further discussion of intervention approaches is featured in her recent book, Social Aggression among Girls (2003), Guilford.

High-School Hazing: What a Parent Can Do

Recent coverage of high school hazing events has brought the ritual of hazing to the attention of parents now that it is no longer only associated with military and college incidents. While anti-hazing laws and policies do exist in most states, as well as in many individual schools, this does not mean that students or parents know about or abide by them. Adults often minimize hazing as harmless tradition and innocent fun, a mentality that could have damaging, even life-threatening consequences.

In particular, parents must understand the difference between hazing and bullying. Hazing has to do with earning entry - and making it hard to earn entry - into a particular group. It can include a number of types of mental and physical insults of varying degrees that may not be perceived as abuse or victimization, even by the perpetrators and victims. Bullying is often an attempt to exclude someone from a group or activity, whereas hazing is an attempt to include someone usually through a difficult initiation process. As Kids Health child and adolescent psychologist D'Arcy Lyness, Ph.D., explains, "Bullies exhibit a pattern of intentionally hurting others on repeated occasions; hazers are often simply caught up in a role within a group or team on one occasion or limited occasions."

Some parents may wonder why otherwise "good" kids willingly participate in or observe abusive acts. In certain social situations in which there's uncertainty, people - especially kids - often look to leaders for social cues about acceptable behavior. Being told what to do and how to participate reduces the discomfort of social uncertainty. Likewise, group social situations often help to relax individual responsibility such that kids might assume that since everyone else is doing it, it must be OK.

KidsHealth offers these suggestions for parents to consider:

Educate yourself -Find out if your state has an anti-hazing law and become familiar with it. Some states - and schools - may group hazing and bullying together in laws and policies.

Know school policy - Make sure your child's school and/or district has clearly defined policies that prohibit hazing, is taking measures to proactively prevent hazing from occurring, and is acting immediately with repercussions when hazing does occur.

Invite law-enforcement to speak - Ask your parent-teacher association and/or school administrators to have local law-enforcement officials speak to parents and/or the student body about hazing and the state's anti-hazing law.

Collaborate with school and student leaders - Work together to create powerful and safe experiences to promote positive alternatives to hazing that would foster cohesion in group, club, and team membership (i.e. field trips and retreats, team-building activities, peer mentor programs, and community service projects).

Talk with other parents - Communicate, especially, with the parents of upperclassmen and your child's sport teammates about what their children may have seen or experienced. If you know that the problem exists at your child's school, you'll be better prepared to discuss it with your child, fellow parents, and school officials.

Talk with your child - Have the "if everyone else was jumping off the bridge, would you do it too?" conversation. Let your child know that they shouldn't feel pressured to participate in anything, even if "everyone else is doing it" or "it's tradition."

Above all, maintain open communication with your child. If your child has experienced hazing, talk to school officials immediately. If physical abuse was involved, talk to your local law-enforcement agency. Parents and caregivers should always ask what's going on at school, what peers are doing, and what pressures are present - physically, academically, and socially. Finally, encourage your child to come to you in any uncomfortable situation.

This information was provided by KidsHeath.
Visit www.KidsHealth.org for more information on hazing.
To arrange an interview with one of KidsHealth's 400 pediatric subspecialists:
Phone: (302) 651-4106
Fax: (302) 651-4077
E-mail: santoro@KidsHealth.org
Other relevant articles currently online at KidsHealth.org:

For parents:
High-School Hazing: What It Is and What You Can Do About It
Bullying and Your Child
How to Talk to Your Child About the News
Teaching Your Child Self-Control

For kids:
Dealing With Peer Pressure
Dealing With Bullies
School Violence and What It Means To You

For teens:
Dealing With Bullying
Should You Worry About School Violence?
All About Anxiety

The Brown University Child and Adolescent Behavior Letter, December 2003
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