Intimate partner violence, defined as the emotional, physical or sexual abuse of a victim by a known perpetrator, is a major public health concern affecting an estimated 1.5 million woman in the United States each year.¹ The incidence of dating violence among teenage girls is particularly troubling, with one out of every five girls reportedly being hit, slapped, shoved or forced into sexual activity by their dating partner. Teenage girls may be even more susceptible to this form of violence, as it occurs during a time when they are struggling with the many developmental and social issues common in adolescence.

1. Tjaden P, Thoennes N: Extent, nature and consequences of intimate partner violence: Findings from the National Violence Against Woman Survey. Washington, DC: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Office of Justice Programs; 2000. Publication NCJ 181867.

To help girls break the silence of abuse, the National Center for Victims of Crime offers several tips for dealing with dating violence.

Tips for teens:

• Contact a victim service provider in your community.
• Talk to a trusted adult.
• Focus on safety.
• Keep detailed records of abusive behavior.
• Consider filing criminal charges.
• Learn more about orders of protection, if available to teens in your state.
• Find out about the behaviors that constitute abuse by reading books, talking to a victim service provider or exploring Web sites.

Tips for parents:

• Start the conversation. It is not easy to talk about such a painful topic. Imagine how hard it must be for your child to raise the issue -- especially if she is a victim of dating violence. Ask about your teen's relationships by showing concern rather than judgment, so your child does not feel threatened.
• Talk with your kids on their level. Teens don't always get it when you speak to them in abstract terms. Honesty discuss dating and dating violence, using examples such as public figures, book, movie or television characters, or people they know. Use both positive and negative examples.
• Talk often. This will help establish clear channels of communication that confirms your interest in your teen's life. Don't be afraid to ask questions and be honest when responding to your child's questions.
• Be available. Let your teen know that you are always available to talk with her and that nothing is more important to you than her well being. Your child will never open up about such a difficult topic if she feels that you don't have the time to talk about it.
• Give your undivided attention. Your attention should be completely focused on your child and what she has to say. Don't be distracted or allow anything to interrupt your time together. Turn off the television, allow the voice mail to pick up any incoming calls and sit down with your child, one-to-one in a relaxed environment.
• Don't be upset. Try not to get upset if your child is more comfortable talking with another trusted adult, such as a relative, teacher, coach, neighbor or religious leader. It is important that they know you are OK with them talking to another adult. Remember, the important thing is that they are turning to someone for advice.

Main Source
National Center for Victims of Crime
2000 M Street, NW, Suite 480
Washington, DC 20036
Tel: (202) 467-8700
Victim Services: 1-800-FYI-CALL
TDD: 1-800-211-7996
email: gethelp@ncvc.org
www.ncvc.org

Additional resources
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
P.O. Box 161810, Austin, TX 78716
Tel: (800) 799-SAFE (7233);
(800) 787-3224 (TDD)
e-mail: ndvh@ndvh.org or deafhelp@ndvh.org
www.ndvh.org/

Safe Horizon
2 Lafayette Street
New York, NY 10007
Tel: (212) 577-7700; 24-hour hotline:
(800) 621-HOPE (4673); 800-810-7444(TDD);
Fax: (212) 385-0331
www.safehorizon.org/

*Teen dating violence is often, but not always, initiated by a male perpetrator. The hotline numbers listed above provide crisis intervention, information and referral services to male victims as well.

This handout is based on information provided by the National Center for Victims of Crime's Teen Victim Project, a program designed to help individuals deal with the consequences of victimization, including teen dating violence, and to increase the institutional capacity of youth-serving and victim service organizations to support teenage victims of crime.

For more information on the program, contact Lynn Iannarelli, Director of the Teen Victim Project, at (202) 467-8700.