Valuable Times in America Ayano F. Female, Senior at Doshisha International High School, in Kyoto

On the day we left Japan for America, it was drizzling in the dull sky, as if an angel above the clouds was crying endlessly. Inside the airplane, I was full of hope. I was looking for the things I would face in the new life which I could almost touch within a moment.

I went to Los Angeles when I was in the sixth grade at an elementary school in Japan. Of course I didn't know much about English or even ABCs. I entered a middle school with ESL classes. Most of the students in my class were Japanese. I wasn't anxious that much since my friend who could speak English pretty well helped me. I learned vocabulary by reading books in class. By listening to my teachers carefully, I got used to it. After I got home from school by my mother's car or car pool, I took a little nap and began my homework at once. It took me about six to seven hours to finish it. Every day, I spent so much time on doing my homework. I had only four or five hours of sleep, but I wasn't tired that much of doing my homework. Of course there was a time when I wanted to quit and ask myself a question, "What am I doing? Am I supposed to do homework exactly as I was told to do? What if I quit?" Those questions sometimes went through my head.

However, I loved school so much even if I couldn't speak English well. I found myself interested in learning English at school. This is because there were lots of activities going on throughout classes or at lunch time. For example, an assembly which includes play, game, music, concert, or talent show and fashion show held at lunch time. Most of the time, there was something and the schedules were changeable. I was happy if I had a minimum day-everyday classes were only thirty minutes. I wasn't aware that those events made me enjoy everyday. Another reason was that Saturdays were off. Even if there were lots of homework to do on Monday to Thursday, teachers gave me no homework on Fridays so I could spend free time on myself. Spending free time gave me a chance to find other interests in my life. I think that was important too. Most of the time I watched rental movies and it became one of my tastes. It helped me a lot improve my ability to speak English. Other times, I went shopping with my American friend or I had conversations with my family. For these reasons, I liked the whole school. Everyday was all new and fresh to me. Everything I faced with was full of vividness. I spend my time with happiness and satisfaction. I thought I couldn't waste my time, not even a moment.

What was good about American school was that there were tests every week especially in math. That means I could have a chance to raise my grade up in case I got a bad score and it means that final exams weren't as important as in Japan. Also, teachers taught me how important it was to respect each other's ideas and thoughts by having conversations with us. Usually my opinions were needed, not rote memorization as in Japan. I needed to express my ideas or thoughts because everyone of the class participated. The atmosphere made me feel like I was one of them. I felt comfortable with that. That is what I like about the education at an American school. It is completely different from Japanese education. Learning something by heart is not the only way to gain knowledge. Too much rote memorization in Japan is not good. What is so valuable in memorizing word by word? Can it be helpful in our future? I sometimes feel weird about it. Some of my present teachers say that rote memorization is really helpful. I can agree to this fact, but more than that, it is necessary for us to learn how it is important to express ourselves. I feel pressured on mid-term and final exams. It leads to stress. In Japan, we just go with the flow which teachers established, and never think back what's more important than just memorizing. How limited the Japanese cycle of education is. I think the liberal education is more important like in America, so that we all can grow up more mentally and physically.

Since I felt comfortable to live in America, I felt myself lucky that I didn't attend Japanese school. This is because I enjoyed attending to American school and the way I was taught there. Although I enjoyed the school, things didn't go well sometimes. I had problem with my Japanese friends. I suffered from such troubles-friends' relationships. I knew that relationships with friends in Japan are always difficult. I don't understand why Japanese people, especially girls, love to fight with friends. I didn't want to be involved in this matter, but as long as I'm Japanese, I couldn't get out of that situation. I really wished to go out of the Japanese groups and be with my American friends but it wasn't that easy. This is because the girls then start to complain and speak ill behind my back. I've heard that students often commit suicide in Japan just because of being bullied. How sad I thought, but at the same time, I felt so happy for not attending Japanese middle school.

After I graduated from middle school, I entered high school and became a freshman. Things turned out well. As I could speak English a lot better than before, I made many American, Chinese and Korean friends. It was so much fun to talk with people who had different backgrounds from me. One day in my geometry's class, a girl in the back of me called my name and talked to me with a smile. Her name was Andrea. I was so glad that she did it because I thought that Japanese tend to be thought as a non-English speaker. After that, we talked on the phone almost everyday and became very good friends. Then she asked me, "Can you come with me on a trip to Mojhave desert if possible?" I was surprised to hear her say that. So I asked her back, "Do you mean that I can go on a trip with you" and she said, "Yeah, and with my parents also." As soon as I got home from school, I asked my mother whether I could go or not and she said it was ok, even though we didn't know each other very much. We stayed there for three days. We did everything together. In those full days, we got more close to each other than ever before. That became one of my favorite trips. I was really pleased for making good friends with her. Even now, we are writing to each other, at least two or three letters a month. I'm sure we will keep in touch with each other forever.

On the other hand, I heard from my parents that I had to go back to Japan sooner or later. I was really shocked. I didn't want to go back to Japan. Four years was not enough for me. I didn't think of going back to Japan at all for those four years. I felt it was better off to live in America for the rest of my life. I had already used to communicate with American friends, American way of education, and the place I lived in. I hardly can live apart from those things I loved. The reason why I had to go back to Japan was because of my father's job and my entrance into Doshisha International High School. So I couldn't complain about it. I just had to accept it as the way it was. My Japanese friend in America said that she envied me for going back to Japan where there are lots of pretty stationery, clothes and train which can take me everywhere without license. I know there are, but it wasn't the place where I should live my life forever. I had a resistance to come back to Japan because there were big differences between Japan and America. Also, I didn't like the typical Japanese who would stare at another person especially in the train and make harsh comments about that person. Japanese tend to behave like that. I wanted to shout, "Look what you are doing. Are you really responsible for blaming others?"

I read a book, Physical Defect (gotai fumanzoku) written by Hirotada Ototake. The author wrote about himself from the time he was born. He went to a trip abroad for three weeks with his friends. He heard that there were many people using a wheelchair at UC Berkeley, so he went there. He thought Japanese people with a wheelchair would be stared at, but he wasn't. He says, "Physically challenged people aren't worth stared at. It is not unusual for people in America to find the person using a wheelchair. It is very rare that people gaze at physically challenged person." The facilities for the wheelchair is perfect at many places like a lavatory, theater or even an amusement park in America. Japanese people are in the habit of interfering in other people's affairs. I don't think they have a right to criticize other people. They have to understand that each one of us are different. We all have individuality and we all differ from others.

In many ways, both countries have good and bad points, but it is more comfortable for me to live in America. What made me hate Japan was that I didn't know how to ride a train, and I didn't like the small space crowded with many people pushing one another in the train. Conveniently in America, I could go everywhere by car without being pushed each other like in Japanese train. The road is so narrow compared to America. I felt my life in Japan so uncomfortable. More than anything else, I love the generosity most of Americans have, at least my friends had it. They were frank and open-minded. I love their honesty. For all those parts I love America, I had to abandon them and go back to Japan. I felt uneasiness about Japanese school, but I tried to convince myself that the school where I'm going is "international," and there must be lots of returnees who have about the same background as me.

When I returned home from Los Angeles after four year's absence, I was surprised at the small house. I could almost touch the ceiling and felt like I was cramped in a confined space. Main roads are crowded and cars could almost hit each other. I have school on Saturdays. I feel so stressed by the mid-term and final examinations that are the only way to be graded. In America, teachers often take student's effort that one made, and they never only depend on the grade of the examination. I became sick and tired of those things which dissatisfied me. For the first year in Japan, I wanted to yell, "I can't stand this and I need to go back to America." I imagined my school to be more "international" like an American school. But we have passive learning and rote memorization in many classes. It's boring for me to sit on the chair and listen to the teacher. I wish if it were like an American school. I'm really glad that my English teacher is teaching us like that. He respects the student's opinions and think about us for the most.

Even now I really wish to go to America if possible. I feel pretty weird why I was longing for America though my stay in Japan is a lot longer than living in America. Four years of my stay in America was full of enjoyment, achievement and satisfaction. It was perfect. Even the hard times I had been turn out to be good memories in my heart and I'm sure that it will keep burning into my mind. Now, it's been about two years since I came back to Japan. Things were always different to me. Although I'm still longing for American school, the wide road and the people greeting each other on the street with unfamiliar faces in the sun, I'm getting accustomed to live in Japan.

I really like America. I really am glad that I could experience such a valuable time there. I'm thinking of going abroad to study or living in America in near future. Having experienced those precious times in America, I would love to keep in touch with English and make the best use of my opportunities. (11/99)

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